It's been a grand total of 5 weeks since I've been on social media, which may seem like nothing to some and maybe even dreadful for others. I've been asked many questions since I've been on this fast. From, "why are you doing that?" to "Isn't your job to be on social media?" and even to "What are some realizations that you've made?" Here's the truth, it hasn't been hard...at all. SERIOUSLY! Isn't that crazy? It hasn't been hard. But, it has been many other things. And, I just thought, "Why not share with the people that have supported me, followed me, watched me and maybe even need a social media break (or fast if you're into Christian slang 🙂) themselves. My journey isn't special or big, but the changes that happened on the inside of me? Pretty freaking amazing, actually.
When asked the question "Isn't your job to be on social media?" I was kind of taken back and felt this overwhelming sense of guilt and shame. For those of you that don't know me, I'm what some would call a "Professional Christian". I host and speak to women and teens about this super cool guy named Jesus and the incredible redemptive power that we have access to through Him, even in our most broken places. I scream from the rooftops that "In a world that says we have to be perfect to be used, the truth is God will use us right in the middle of our mess." So, when I was asked about social media being my job I felt guilty. I asked myself, "Do the things that I post and say on my social platforms make it seem like I'm more concerned with high res images than I am with telling people that there's a really big God that can provide more clarity than any HD camera?" I mean, I know, I'm dramatic. But that's how it made me feel! And, I want to be more than that. I want people to end up on my pages and say three things, "That girl loves Jesus, she loves her husband and daughter and her reason for everything is to bring people closer to Jesus." (If they want to add some other flattering things in there, hey, totally on them. 🙂 )
I know that social media actually IS a place where ministry can happen, lives can be changed, relationships can be built and Jesus truly can be found. But, I just wanted to make sure that I am a part of that effort, in a big, intentional way.
*Inserts social media fast
So people, I started the fast! I wanted to take some time to just focus on rebuilding my heart for people. I wanted to create moments for no other reason, but to just exist in them. I wanted to break up the patterns in my life in hopes that I would discover something greater, access something deeper and come back with the intent to lead more people to Jesus.
Here's what happened:
Existing became enough for me. Because, I became enough for me.
Spiritual well of truth. That now holds verses memorized for every storm.
That poured affirmations of security, boldness and sureness into me.
I actually looked at the road more when I was driving. I use my GPS way less now.
You know that little top part of your right pinky that you use to hold up your phone? Yep, that thing.
Literally. I had more dreams at night. I think it’s because my brain had more space for imagination.
We don’t need to unpack all that we’re exposed to on social media, right?
Specifically these books; Love Does, I Have a New Name, Milk + Honey & The Utter Relief of Holiness.
We were sitting next to each other all along. But at moments, my eyes were locked on my screen.
I know what you're thinking guys, "Woah girl, a lot happened in just 5 weeks? It did and I'm honestly tearing up reading and reflecting over all of these things. One of the most impactful moments I had, was when I realized that the moments I was creating was more for others than it was for me and the people I was experiencing them with. I would find myself wanting to go to THAT place, with THAT lighting, for THAT great picture so that I could post it for those people. It was as if I would be in this amazing moment and I would only enjoy it for as long as it took to post about it. I went looking for another moment before this moment was even done.
Going on a social media fast changed me. It changed my relationships. It changed my perspectives. And, it gave me a desire for just more life. Now, I am by no means saying that you should take a social media fast. This isn't one of those self-help blog posts where I'm subliminally nudging you to change or to do something different. I'm simply sharing. And if I'm being completely honest, I'm sharing for me. I want to look back on this blog and smile again. I want to look back on it and cry again. I want to feel the humble pride of knowing that I did something for me that will ultimately change the way I view the world, the way I interact with God and the way I spread the love of Jesus.
One second...tearing up here.
I want to remember this when I'm tempted to scroll for hours admiring someone on social media for what they have that I don't. I want to remember this when I'm tempted to shush my daughter saying her 52nd "mom" because she wants my attention while I'm trying to draft the perfect caption for the perfect post. I want to remember this when I'm reading my bible and have the urge to tweet that amazing scripture instead of letting it sink deep into my heart. I want to remember this when I'm planning out posts that should be more about leading the broken person reading them to a God that can heal them from the inside out.
I want to hold onto this deep in my heart. So that my social media platforms can be a place where ministry can happen, lives can be changed, relationships can be built and Jesus truly can be found. Because I know that I am a part of that effort, in a big, intentional way.